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| I was sitting in a plastic chair in my backyard this morning, taking in the nice weather, and i pitied myself for always staying inside, in my house's stiffled and captured air instead of being outside more. but what is inside and what is outside? isnt the air inside made of the same molecules as the air outside? granted there is more dust and mold, maybe, but the principle stands. we get it in our heads that being in one place is better than being in another, when really its all the same. did you know you've travelled the universe without taking a single step? busy, to be continued... | | |
| life comes at you like a slow juggernaut. excuse my poor reference to a comic book figure, but i understand him as a character who can break through anything and keep going in straight line no matter if a brick building is in the way. so in a sense, life is like that huge, imposing iron train, trailing behind billows of black smoke and running over poor bunnies that happen to scamper over the tracks. first college and picking out classes, then getting a real job, then moving out, maybe getting married... woa woa whoa.. when did i authorize all this growing up business? when did it start? was it with the introduction of training bra and deoderant, or was it with the simple accumulation of years, turning 16, 17, 18... but like i say, "in the meantime": INDECISION 2008:: no, im not refering to the presidential election. im refering to which major i want to go into! its too complicated, i dont want to get into it too much, but it goes along the lines of me not knowing for sure which major i want (teetertotering between 2) and then going into fits of nail biting because if i go one direction its looking like il have a hard time going the other too, and ive been working towards that other direction already... but which one's a better fit for me, and can earn money and be a source of happiness in the future? and as i hold out on furthering my admissions, housing spots get fewer and fewer, until finally... ive waited too long and we'll just have to try the whole thing over again next year. ^^; basically ur standard application process, lol. | | |
| Finally getting some much needed prodding for academic excellence... a chemistry test that ive known about for at least a week, that i didnt study for, and that im pretty sure i flunked! this might just be the cure for my senioritis! in any case, i definitely feel like doing homework now. | | |
| For now, existing just to exist. What else is there to write about or explain? Maybe, waking up with an exhausting headache and yawning through first period. maybe disliking certain lunch periods.. maybe dragging myself to do hw, and knowing that the weather is beautiful right outside my window, but staying inside nevertheless. Never making my bed, having to sell away my new shoes cuz theyre a half size too small, trying to personalize my family's camry, but it still feels like it belongs to my mom.. not waking up early enough for the school's free breakfast - cinnamon rolls untasted. knowing that in d-groups we're gunna talk about going to college and purity and new experiences... not knowing what this year is going to be like. not satisfied with the thought of the present being the same as the past, and feeling like im standing on a conveyer belt in life, rather than walking. always asking why and never bothering to find the answers! oh yes, and being unnecessarily cranky with my parents, especially my dad, who i plan to write a college essay about. | | |
| ever had a dream that combined the matrix and harry potter together? it goes something like this: youre running, or rather falling, through alternate worlds (that are really white and clean) with your friends, but you are desperately trying to get back home, so you all try to touch a portkey, except it doesnt work, so you try again "at the same time now, everybody," but it still doesnt work. then you wake up and youre kinda agitated but you don't know why, and you realize youve probably seen one too many scifi movies. p.s. i think i still prefer cool weather to hot and sunny weather. sorry vicky, who runs into the humid blazing afternoon screaming, "i love this!" | | |
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